There are many myths about domestic violence, which can prevent women talking about their experiences and also prevent them accessing the help and support that they need. These myths can also cause unnecessary suffering as many women believe the myths and that they are unworthy of any help.

MYTH: "It's just the odd domestic tiff, all couples have them."

FACT: Violence by a man against the woman he lives with commonly includes rape, punching or hitting her, pulling her hair out threatening her with a gun or a knife or even attempting to kill her. Emotional abuse can include depriving the woman of money, clothes, food or sleep, locking her in her home, constantly telling her she is ugly, stupid or useless, not allowing her to take or make telephone calls and isolating her from her friends and family.

More than 25% of all violent crimes reported to the police is domestic violence of men against women, making it the second most common violent crime.

Between 1 and 2 women are killed by their partners or an ex-partner in England and Wales every week.

Domestic violence is not an issue to be treated flippantly.
There is no place for physical or emotional abuse in a healthy relationship.

MYTH: "Domestic violence only happens in working class families"
FACT: Any woman can be abused. She might be any of the women you have come into contact with: your sister, your daughter, your mother. Your friend, your colleague, your neighbour. Your GP, your dentist, the TV personality you most admire.
Domestic violence crosses all boundaries, social and economic, professional and cultural.

MYTH: "She must ask for it/deserve it/provoke it"
FACT: No one 'deserves' being beaten or emotionally tortured. Often, the only provocation has been that she has often simply asked for money for food, or not had a meal ready on time, or been on the telephone too long.
Women often blame themselves because they have been consistently told that the violence is all their fault. There is no justification for violence.

MYTH: "He couldn't help it, he was drunk"
FACT: Domestic violence can't be blamed on alcohol alone. True, some men may have been drinking or taking drugs when they become violent, but drink and drugs provide an easy excuse for not taking responsibility. It can be easier for a woman to accept that a man wouldn't have hit her if he were sober. In truth, drunk or sober, high or low, a man who beats a woman is a violent man. There is no excuse for violence.

MYTH: "They must come from violent backgrounds"
FACT: Many men who are violent towards their families or their partner come from families with no history of violence. Many families in which violence occurs do not produce violent men. The family is not the only formative influence on behaviour.
A violent man is responsible for his own actions.

MYTH: "It can't be that bad or she'd leave"
FACT: Women stay in violent homes for reasons ranging from love to terror. There are also practical reasons why women stay; they may be afraid of the repercussions if they attempt to leave, they may be afraid of becoming homeless, they may worry about losing their children. They may fear poverty and isolation.
The prospect of leaving an abusive relationship can be as frightening as the prospect of staying.
Three main things keep women in an abusive relationship. These are:
Confusion about what love for her partner means - the relationship has its good points, it's not all bad.
Hope that the situation will change - the relationship didn't begin like this.
Fear that the threats to kill you or your family will become a reality, fear of being alone.
Many women in violent, abusive situations are not aware of the practical help and emotional support that is available for them, if and when they do decide to leave.

Reference form Women's Aid